Divorce: A Touchy Subject Then and Now - Matthew 19:1-12

The Trap and the Truth

 

1 When Jesus had finished these words, He departed from Galilee and came into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan;

 

2 and large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there.

 

3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?"

 

4 And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE,

 

5 and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'?

 

6 "So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

 

7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND HER AWAY?"

 

8 He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.

 

9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

 

It's always best to establish context when studying the Bible.  In this case, the end of chapter 18 was all about forgiveness, which will tie in a bit here.  However, Jesus has travelled to a new region, and Matthew's account largely deals with new subject matter.

 

The Pharisees are laying a trap for Jesus by testing Him on His interpretation of Old Testament Law relating to divorce (probably Deuteronomy 24:1-4): Does the "indecency" mentioned refer to sexual immorality, or just something the man doesn't like about his wife? 

 

But this begs the question...why was this a trap?  Well, my take is that, by getting Jesus to speak openly about this sensitive topic, they thought they were guaranteed to get Him to offend a lot of people, regardless of His answer.  If He said divorce for any reason was okay, the more conservative-minded Jews who disagreed would no longer trust his teaching and integrity.  But if He said divorce was only okay in the case of adultery, that would offend all those who had gotten dicorces for other reasons (or wanted to).  This still rings true today - think how many people, including those who call themselves Bible-believing Christians, get majorly offended when the Scriptural truth about divorce is stated.  But what the Pharisees didn't realize is that getting Jesus to speak God's truth doesn't count as a trap - it's at the core of His being.  John 18:37b: "You say correctly that I am a king.  For this I have been born, and for this I have come into the world, to testify to the truth.  Everyone who is of the truth hears my voice."

 

Jesus's point is that divorce was never God's plan.  In God's will, marriage lasts as long as both spouses are living.  It's as simple as that.  However, because God knew they would do it anyway, He provided a specific social framework to avoid chaos.  It wasn't optimal, but it prevented the people's hard hearts from resulting in even worse damage.

 

The only permitted reason for divorce, both in the New Testament and in the accurate interpretation of the Old Testament, is if one of the spouses commits adultery.  However, Jesus makes it clear that the victimized spouse striving to forgive the cheating spouse is His will (see Matthew 18:21-35 and the book of Hosea).  If forgiveness isn't possible, divorce is allowed, yes, but it seems that would put a person in the category of having a hard heart, like He references in verse 8.  That's not a place we want to be if we're truly seeking God's will in our lives, and truly holding Him up as our Lord.

 

If you're looking for a lot more information on all the ins-and-outs of the Bible's take on divorce, I highly recommend reading 1 Corinthians 7.  Here are also a few excellent sermons breaking down that chapter and going in-depth on divorce (and singleness, which we'll get to in a minute) (they're audio files and might take a minute to start playing):

1 Corinthians 7 Overview

7:7 - Singleness

7:10 - Remarriage

7:16 - The Purpose of Staying Married

7:25 - More on Singleness

Here also is an excellent written approach in Q&A format about different divorce scenarios:

Page 1

Page 2

 

But please don't let chasing exceptions and answers to the question, "Can I or can't I?" distract you from Jesus's main point: Divorce is never God's will, and the best possible situation is for spouses to forgive each other and remain married.  Period.

 

What about Singleness?

 

10 The disciples said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry."

 

11 But He said to them, "Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.

 

12 "For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.  He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."

 

The disciples' reaction could be taken as chauvenism ("We can't divorce them?  Then we're never getting married!"), or it could just have been that seeing how prevalent divorce was (and therefore marital disputes) prompted what they said.  Peter was married and had graciously taken his wife's mother into his home, so don't judge these guys too harshly. ;-)

 

But, regardless of what's going on in the disciples' heads, Jesus isn't addressing that - He's branching off into a more serious point.

 

1 Corinthians  elaborates on this point, specifically verses 1-2, 7-9, and 32-34.

 

The idea is that some people have the spiritual gift of singleness.  This means that God has called a few of His followers to be able to resist sexual temptation and not suffer from strong emotional longings for a spouse in order to remain single for life and therefore have more time and freedom to commit to serving God.  In some Christian circles, this is a "duh!" statement, but in others, where marriage is over-emphasized, it's never brought up.

 

I don't have any official discussion starters today, but is there anything you'd like to add to our study (an insight, a perspective, something that stuck out to you, a relevant verse to add)?  Or, are there any questions related to this topic - whether clarification or a new point? :-)

 

Image citation: The Exhortation to the Apostles, by James Tissot.  Wikipedia.  Public domain in the United States.

Hospitality, Various Crafts, and Singleness/Celibacy - Part 9 of Spiritual Gifts

Today’s post is kind of a hodge-podge of three unlinked spiritual gifts, so we’ll be looking at each one individually.  Please also note that the gifts covered today are not included in the famous giant lists of spiritual gifts in Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12, and Ephesians 4, so while many consider them to be spiritual gifts, not everyone does.  Because none of the three lists is ever resented as being all-inclusive (emphasized by the fact that the lists contain different items), I belong to the camp that categorizes hospitality, various crafts, and celibacy/singleness as genuine spiritual gifts represented as such in Scripture.

Hospitality

In the fourth chapter of his first letter, Peter writes:

9 Be hospitable to one another without complaint.

10 As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

Now, the issue we must decide is: Are these two sentences one thought (that is, is Peter using the spiritual gift of hospitality as an example to instruct his readers to use their spiritual gifts for each other’s benefit), or are they two separate instructions (that is, is hospitality just an extension of the discussion of showing love that immediately precedes it, and the commission to use spiritual gifts another, separate, extension)?  Well, let us consider that a spiritual gift, in the most basic of terms, is some special ability that God gives His followers in order for them to be better able to support other Christians and to bring more people into salvation through faith in Him.  Are some people better at being hospitable than others?  Yes.  Does it seem perfectly reasonable that God may enable a person to be particularly hospitable?  Yes.  Therefore, I believe it is appropriate to accept hospitality as a spiritual gift, while also keeping in mind that it is something we are all expected to strive for (as is the case with many spiritual gifts – we are all commanded to share the gospel, for example, but those with the gift of evangelism are simply better at it).

So, with all that established, what precisely is hospitality?  Well, the Greek word is philoxenia, which literally means “love of strangers.”  Philoxenia and its variant philoxenos are only translated as hospitable and hospitality, and are found a grand total of six times in the New Testament:

-          In 1 Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:8, it is listed as one of the character traits a person with the gift of pastoring (read: leader in the church, not just the head preacher) must exhibit.
-          In 1 Timothy 5:10, it is listed as a character trait that a widow must have exhibited in order to receive free charity from the church.
-          In Romans 12:13 and Hebrews 13:2, it is listed as a primary expression of God’s love flowing through you.

Now let’s look at a few examples of how this looks in our world today (just a *brief* list):

-          A person who, when they see someone new attending church for the first time, makes a point to welcome them and invites them out to lunch or over for dinner.
-          A person who is willing to take in travelling Christians who can’t afford a hotel, or welcomes overflow house guests from other members of the congregation to stay in their own home.
-          A person who is just generally friendly to everyone, even random strangers they run into at the grocery store.

Various Crafts

This one is a bit hard to describe or categorize right off the bat…let’s look at a few examples from Scripture before I launch into a jumbled speech. ;-)

Acts chapter 9:

36 Now in Joppa there was a certain disciple named Tabitha (which translated in Greek is called Dorcas); this woman was abounding with deeds of kindness and charity, which she continually did.
37 And it came about at that time that she fell sick and died; and when they had washed her body, they laid it in an upper room.
38 And since Lydda was near Jopaa, the disciples, having heard that Peter was there, sent two men to him, entreating him, “Do not delay to come to us.”
39 And Peter arose and went with them.  And when he had come, they brought him into the upper room; and all the widows stood beside him weeping, and showing all the tunics and garments that Dorcas used to make while she was with them.

Exodus chapter 31:
1 Now the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, [regarding creating God’s tabernacle – His temporary temple]
2 “See, I have called by name Bezalel, the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah.
3 And I have filled him with the Spirit of God in wisdom, in understanding, in knowledge, and in all kinds of craftsmanship,
4 to make artistic designs for work in gold, in silver, and in bronze,
5 and in the cutting of stones for settings, and in the carving of wood, that he may work in all kinds of craftsmanship.
6 And behold, I Myself have appointed with him Oholiab, the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan; and in the hearts of all who are skillful I have put skill, that they may make all that I have commanded you.

From these two passages, and particularly from the second one, it is abundantly clear that in some cases, God gives His followers certain physical, tactile skills – even trades, related to their jobs – that He intends them to use specifically for His glory.  This definitely falls into our definition of spiritual gifts.  (Now, while I 100% believe that all talents are given to us by God, I personally think that only those talents used somehow to specifically and directly bring glory to God and be involved in ministry work should be classified as out-and-out spiritual gifts.)

Now, there are probably a million examples of this spiritual gift at work, because God can use any ability to advance His kingdom!  Consider 1 Corinthians 12:5, “And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord.”  I’m going to list just a few here:

-          A musician who serves on the worship team at church, or writes and/or performs Christian songs.
-          A writer or artist who produces books, paintings, poems, sculptures, articles, photographs that glorify God and/or share Christian messages.
-          A skilled cook who donates their food to bake sales for the church, to a local homeless shelter, or to some other sort of food-providing ministry.
-          A scientist who uses their knowledge to argue for Intelligent Design.
-          A mechanic helps single women and widows in his church with oil changes for their cars for free.
-          A tech guru who sets up a website for the church.

Celibacy/Singleness

This spiritual gift is mentioned in a long passage on marriage in 1 Corinthians.  We’ll look at just a few verses here, since we are specifically honing in on this one subtopic:

1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am.  However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.
9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn [with lust, presumably].
32 But I want you to be free from concern.  One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord;
33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,
34 and his interests are divided;  And the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

So, what’s Paul saying here?

-          Marriage is not a bad thing (it is a wonderful gift from God to humans), but if you can handle it, staying single is better simply because you’ll have more time to devote to God.  Think about it – when you’re in a relationship, you have to devote a lot of time to spending time together in order to keep the relationship strong – and this is time that could be spent in prayer, Bible study, ministry, etc.
-          So, although we have seen above that marriage is good, but singleness is better, here’s the clincher – if you can handle it.  People who skip marrying run the risk of struggling with lust and falling into sexual immorality.
-          In this, staying single is not for everyone.  It is something that God has gifted a select few with – the spiritual gift of being able to handle being single and to resist sexual temptation.

One more note on this – singleness can be a temporary gift.  That is, it can be part of God’s plan for your life for you to remain purposefully and willingly single for a while (and during that time, he will definitely gift you with the strength to handle it), and then to marry later on.  (I speak from experience here.)

And Just a Quick Bit of News and Housekeeping…

We’ve just got six spiritual gifts left to study:

-          Prophecy
-          Apostleship
-          Evangelism
-          Martyrdom
-          Missionary
-          War/Physical Protection
I anticipate these taking up two more posts, probably on (late) Friday and Monday.  After that, we will return to verse-by-verse Bible study, this time through the Gospel of Matthew.

I’m planning to do a major revamp of the layout of this blog, both for visual appealingness and for ease of use, very soon - *hopefully* this weekend (but possibly next).  Is there anything you’d like to see added or changed?  I’d love input – help me help you! ^_^  If there is anything you’d like to mention, you can leave a comment below or drop me an e-mail at elijahsbunker@gmail.com .  Thanks!

Let’s Make it a Conversation

Do you, or does anyone close to you, have any of the spiritual gifts we talked about today?

Can you think of more examples of hospitality and various crafts?
Anything else you want to say? :-)